Good trends
Learning that living softly is actually more efficient
We’ve all met or have been a person who wears their to-do list on their sleeve at one point or another. In conversation with friends, family, or acquaintances an onslaught of what has been done and what needs to be done is unloaded. Interactions like these leave both the speaker and the listener drained. Nothing is gained or accomplished by boastfully complaining, but our society’s hustle culture has deluded us into believing that ensuring people know when we are doing something productive or important, we increase in relevance. This is a symptom of a larger societal illness.
When we communicate in such a manner, a harsh, dishonest atmosphere is generated. We are not fully present in the reality of what’s in front of us and we are transported into the past or the future, never the now. It marks a confusion about where our worth lies as human beings. Productivity is prioritized over connection and results are prioritized over process. When hiding behind business, it is impossible to reflect on who we are and where we are. When a moment for needed pause exists, it comes at a price for many of us. That includes feelings of guilt or shame for being unproductive, or sensations of anxiety and uneasiness. The should haves, would haves and could haves creep up and sabotage our valuable rest.
This is especially true in my experience as an artist and teacher. My work in the arts, be it singing, acting or writing, requires me to respond to what I experience and perceive. It’s extremely challenging to create art of any kind when the focus is solely rigorous production. The nagging need to make something new and wonderful often dampens the nervous system’s ability to process both internal and external environments, which halts the flow of creativity. I find that I’m at my best when I’m operating more slowly and conscientiously. This also applies to what I’ve seen as a teacher. My students succeed when they have moments to reflect and engage with material at their own pace and on their own time. Those who push themselves too hard and too fast will usually burn out and lose motivation. Stressful moments like that can often lead the student or the artist (learning is an art), to lash out and blame others for their momentarily stunted growth or disdain for the work that they are doing. I’ve been on the receiving end of this as a teacher and also have dished out my fair share of misdirected frustrations as an artist and student myself. The good news is, there’s a way to avoid the unpleasantness: Living Softly.
This is a trend worth following. Soft is a word with many uses: it can refer to texture, flexibility, volume or temperament. Rarely is soft speech used in times of anger. Softness does not lend itself to violence or abruptness. If something is soft, it can bend and adapt more freely without breaking.
All of this sounds lovely, but how can it be achieved? Like any good habit, it is built on small, deliberate actions that are repeated. It requires that moments of solace are embraced. When faced with overextending oneself and risking exhaustion or recuperating to return refreshed and ready, we choose the later. One can choose between allowing anger, fear and scarcity to drive decisions or finding moments of quiet to understand why these unresolved emotions try to run the show. It’s learning that by honoring where we are at in a present moment is how we can best serve those around us. It’s true that you cannot pour from an empty cup.
What elements of soft living are you incorporating into your life? Let me know in the comments!
